However, some narcissists may flaunt their money to show off to others. Be prepared to present your case in a clear and concise way. I am still upset with myself and disturbed of how I could have been with a person who didnt even like me ! Key points. I wish I knew the DIRECTOR OF THE FBI OR CIA this is not fair to take away innocent skipping confident childhood to be used as a pawn by guy not even her father!!! When this occurs, they feel profoundly threatened. The term "narcissistic supply" is derived from the psychoanalytic theory of baby and toddler needs. The only thing I have left besides my precious baby is my home in the other state. I had no idea going into it, what a narcissist was but his behavior soon became clear that it wasnt anything I had experienced before, from the unexpected angry morning texts to showing no sign of remorse for any actions. Im convinced that whether a narc is cheating or not, they want their current partner to THINK that theyre cheating in order to create feelings of negativity and insecurity in their partner. Unfortunately, some of the most common narcissistic traits grandiosity, superiority, entitlement and a lack of empathy have beenon the risein recent years. I feel like my life is ruined forever and Ill never get it back. She had 2 adults and two children and never had food or money. I pray this dont happen to you. You must let them know you are on their way. I have applied for food stamps and Medicaid, something that I really appreciate but hate having to rely on the government for support. She slowly had me committed to her in every way. As a psychologist who studies extreme self-involvement, I've found that narcissism is a maladaptive personality type that can impact the mental health and functioning of those who come into contact with it especially when money is involved. The victim may be subjected to verbal attacks, humiliation, and even threats. Read Full Article Related Topics: Donald Trump Even in light of factual evidence to the . After two weeks he asked me to marry him. GO GET A JOB. Bitterness can be avoided by remaining open to the reality that there is so much kindness in the world. narcissists do not act generously for the sake of acting generous. But, sadly there is not. . Not only that then I discovered he had secretly recorded me sexually and posted many videos on pornography sites. Hoertel, N., Peyre, H., Lavaud, P., Blanco, C., Guerin-Langlois, C., Ren, M., Schuster, J.-P., Lemogne, C., Delorme, R., & Limosin, F. (2018). Oh, how I wish there was a cure. The man takes pride in not caring about consequences such as the death of a bridge, or the destruction of an earth. Do they actually like their job and/or career? They use money to control people. Female narcissists often value wealth and financial power just as much as their male counterparts. They may turn on the tears and sweet talk as a ploy to regain your attention. Money becomes a tool, a way to build what they want out of thin air. Stop quoting his nonsense. Giving gifts to someone who is narcissistic makes them feel good about themselves and allows them to maintain a relationship with the giver. April 3, 2022 what happens when a narcissist runs out of money. Because the story he tells is consistent with his own, he is content to mount and orchestrate smear campaigns. That means it can run out of cash if the limit isn't lifted. Just enjoy it. And so, I am a shattered soul, as my husband abandoned me, and a son, two weeks prior to Christmas. I wish you well. If a narcissist is pushed or "called out" by colleagues or family members, his abuse will also escalate. I finally circled around to the real problem after about 20 years of therapy. The Narcissists Addiction to Narcissistic Supply: Narcissists are addicted to a drug known as " Narcissistic Supply ", and it does not matter whether the supply is good or bad, what matters is that the supply brings adulation, fame, and celebrity that is constant, reliable, and predictable. A long line of research demonstrates that the self-confidence and charm displayed by narcissists can actually be an advantage when it comes to building alliances. Though weve been together for 5 years but we spend only one month in every year because he stays overseas. They might give you an allowance or put you on a budget. Eventually, the narcissist starts controlling all the money. Finally, narcissists are highly self-centered and selfish, which can lead them to spend money on things that they dont really need. Narcissists, in most cases, are obsessed with money. And the 5-Star Deception means hell for anyone caught up in the narcissist's fairy tale. . I guess that was the money I gave him to pay his taxes. We had only been married 5 months when this happened. You may even feel obligated to play their game just to keep the household or business running. I found evidence and have proof but she has gone into attack mode and is doing anything she can to make me feel like I am worthless and that I dont deserve anything. They may act in this manner to gain control or to punish someone they believe has acted unfairly toward them. Sign up now: Get smarter about your money and career with our weekly newsletter, Get Make It newsletters delivered to your inbox, Learn more about the world of CNBC Make It, 2023 CNBC LLC. These people do not love they posses people and will keep on and never let them go. Little did I know that the least was co-signed by his parents, he hadnt paid the rent in 4 months, we were being evicted, and his parents were getting stuck with a $9,000 bill that would never be paid back. Leave and create a whole new vision for your futureI wish you well. a need for admiration. Sorry. If this person is a boss or has the power to fire people- you can expect that to happen. Make no mistake- they dont necessarily like money for the sake of liking money. Im due to have our child in August and he dumped me in April. You can tell by their vileness, as if they were noxious smells. They might even try to get their supporters to break the law. She has even starved my son he lost 40 kgs. 12 Ways to Break a Narcissist's Heart 1 Ignore their forms of manipulation. If you do choose to take a narcissist to small claims court, be prepared for a long, difficult battle. A malignant narcissist is a person who believes themselves to be superior to others. Your abuser will deprive you of your self-worth. If they have power over a person- they will use it. If he gave you whole truth then what you would find would make you want to kill him. It is done for them and not for you. In the event that a narcissist loses power, he may resort to Scopri di Pi strategies to regain control of the victim. It is very sad, particularly when you see this in a person that base their happiness on material wealth. You cannot help him. On to next victim. BTW. Theyre often reactive to their current emotions. They isolate you from everything, you live their world. Narcissists have a strong preference for punishment, and money is often used as an instrument. Key takeaways. So over it..! Set and enforce boundaries 6. She got the money from my mom and dad who are both in their late eighties. Narcissists seek power over others to feel better about themselves, and money is a tool they use to manipulate and control. I am happy to do whatever it takes. I want to leave but I dont know how. Trump's catastrophic performance has as much to do with psychology as ideology. The bedroom isn't their only means of brainwashing. He brought me from the state I had lived in all my life, away from all my family, my home that I have owned since 2005. I have been where you are. They console themselves with defense mechanisms that prevent them from acknowledging any flaws. You might even find that the best solution is to set strict emotional boundaries, or exit the relationship altogether if they are unwilling to change. Change all passwords to your personal financial accounts. You will be able to open your own credit cards with this method. They offered to take him for a second opinion, I think that is the fastest she cut them out of her life. He blamed me for his lies and adultery. Unfortunately, this is likely the only time you will ever see the narcissist being authentic, but dont allow it to sway you to come to their rescue. If youre trying to get money back from a narcissist, you may need to go to court. narcissistic individuals are primarily concerned with extrinsic motivators such as money and reward rather than the development of their personal skills and fulfillment. I cannot speak for anyone but myself but I am hopeful that I have not always been a narcissist, so I do not always have to be one. Once those measures run out, the federal government . It only works for them if they can demonstrate it to the world. . As a result, they may undergo multiple plastic surgeries and spend excess time shopping, primping, and grooming. They are biologically programmed to manipulate and torture by either physical or emotional violence- usually both, they embed themselves in a false persona of normalcy , relying on glamour and superficial charm and perception management in order to feed their narcissistic supply- in other words they are all potential sex criminals, can never be trusted with emotionally important tasks or resp[onsibilities. Compared to their grandiose counterparts, these individuals usually come across as somewhat quiet, guarded, and even shy. I now dont believe there was ever any emotional affairs and they would just tell me there were to knock me off balance. Make sure to figure out what you need to do to ensure a healthy emergency reserve fund. I was better enough to go back to work, and to work I went. She makes you feel guilty about who you are. As quickly as I asked for my money, cute intern watching attentively, his wallet appeared and I got my money after asking for 6 weeks! "Shape-shifting" Narcissists love when someone strokes their ego. As a result, the notion of giving something away may feel threatening. Thats our problem. They may reward you financially when you do what they want, and then withhold money when they feel vindictive. When run into one I talk bad about narcissist and that person get mad and then I really see the narcissist more. 18 years later, when I started to claim my property back, mother threw me this booklet (I completely forgot about, and I do not remember the passwort). Partly because, in a sense, the narc is constantly being chased by the awareness of their real-self coming to the surface. If confronted, the narcissist may react dangerously to your accusations. Remember that boundaries are essential. YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I was dying and utterly alone. Fits my ex husband so well. My father ruined a brothers relationship by attacking me. Here are some of the main takeaways. Narcissistic Supply has two . If I ask its never mind . What to do: Given their self-serving mindset, it's difficult for narcissists to recognize or identify with the feelings and needs of others. And I was floating around in the world aimless and hoping for a better life. Please share it with your friends. Treasury Secretary Janet Yellen has . Do they have any hobbies? That was the final straw. If they feel like they are failing- they wont go down alone if they dont have to. My narcissist text me Im his worst enemy and that he hates women because of me and my mom. As the relationship evolves, the financial abuse may worsen. The narcissist will stalk and harass you. I wish hed move on and leave me alone but it would shatter the fantasy life he has created about himself in front of others. Couple of weeks later, she infected me, without telling me that she was sick, she let me come to her house.and my ordeal with her had started. How a Narcissist Affects Custody. Its a bad idea to get pregnant by a narcissist. You should pay close attention to the number of people in your life who are capable of being both kind and empathy-friendly. You would not consult a doctor, dentist or engineer who was not qualified to give you advice, so why trust a fake academic. Narcissists will commonly say things like "I wish you'd be more like him/her," "He/she would never treat me like this." Such statements provoke feelings of insecurity and uncertainty in the victim; often leaving them wondering where exactly they fit into the narcissist's life. This was while again my parents were putting money for food into to her account I have six adults in my home and the amount she was getting from my parents was enough to feed us. The narcissist then appears to be depressed, his movements slow down, his sleep patterns are disordered (he either sleeps too much or becomes insomniac), his eating patterns change (he gorges on food or is avoids it altogether). Your devotion will only make more of a problem for the woman that comes next in his life = and there will always be another woman. They spend their lives attempting to form relationships. I hope and pray that your ex doesnt have this disorder. . But a new study adds a . Unfortunately, most narcissists wont pay you back on their own accord. He was insisting that me and the kids move there with him, but something inside of me (I did not yet know about narcissism and narcissistic personality disorder at the time)was screaming at me not to move. Given time, you will find your very way of thinking changes (good therapy will help and if you cant afford that, then get in a support group and establish a solid circle of friends with whom you have healthy relationships). Falsify tax records to. The money seemed like too much, the praise too much, and a guy that looked like this had never been interested in me before. I am so sad that so many people do cooperate with my mother. Out of shear will and a sense of self preservation I got better. Want to know more? the first time I have read a perfect description of my husband and he did not get any love as a child and was terribly beaten regularly. He sustained a leg injury shortly after I went back to work and I have been supporting that for years now. Hyperbolic rage can manifest itself in a variety of ways, including extreme outbursts and sudden fits of anger. They dont willingly hand over what they have. He used to make fun of unfit and chubby ppl and always was criticizing and talking badly about ppl. He seemed nice enough, but something felt off. You deserve to be happy. Thief? It sounds like you have gotten through 1, and maybe 2. Lately, solitude and the onset of oblivion through sleep are the only things which provide me a shred of enjoyment, or more accurately, a small taste of solace. Jealous..dont work . Transport costs were up 150.4 percent, food prices 94.9 percent. You only have one. Underneath their conceited energy, they have very low self-esteem. Put the focus back on who it belongs.. All rights reserved. My personal action is to stop and think, hear the nuance of communications to me, and not take every comment that chips at my ego or perfection as an attack or criticism. S/he may say the right words to make it seem like a mutual soul-tie. ", This dynamic can happen in business, too. It was a man delivering me the summons preventing me from leaving the state. Then take a step back and reflect on whether the relationship is worth holding on to. The game goes like this, sex? A pathological liar. They may hurl insults at you, demean you or damage your reputation. A narcissistic partner may spend freely on themselves and regularly blow your joint budget, then turn around and criticize you for spending more than they deem necessary. They might steal or take from others without regard to how it could affect someone else. This isnt always the case, and it doesnt always work. X. I dont know why people stay with this abusive behavior? She died exactly one year ago at the age of 90. She tricks me differently, she has excuses, she postpones. They may use emotional manipulation to frighten, confuse, and control their victims in order to frighten, confuse, and control them. Furthermore, some choices seem dangerous, concerning, and even abusive. Here are 10 "don'ts" for dealing with narcissists: 1. Types of Narcissists and their Money Habits, Crazy Lies Narcissists Use to Control You, complicated relationship with the narcissist. I havent gotten a birthday, Christmas, or anniversary present in 7-8 years. It was always regarding finances and investing. This type of relationship is typically characterized by drama, manipulation, and aggression. I happen I be starting 2018 with him having gotten a job in another city and filing for divorce from me. https://www.rebeccazung.com/blog-entries/2020/09/23/collapse-of-a-narcissist/, Awareness Act 2022 All Rights Reserved. Instead, I moved in with him. He stalked me while I had dvos against him. I cried night after night after night and he just sat there while I cried. Paranoia may be setting in my conspiracy theories as to why society has all cards stacked against me, theyre starting to collude and gel. But if they go out to eat with a group of people, they may give a massive tip to create a sense of generosity. Send any friend a story As a subscriber, you have 10 gift articles . (If you can't manage to do this you're not paying attention to me. It has brought me to tears, and both humbled and humiliated me as I examine my behavior over the last few years. You could be the most successful woman ever but all you are to the narcissist is supply. & my lil girl upon awakening text me, she doesnt care that I wasnt at her party so I know shes torn, angry n confused!!! But he had already been methodical in getting me to lose my previous job as a teacher. But yet HE could go and spend money however he wanted, without talking to me, because he was the one who made the money. To counteract this, they either attack and provoke negative reactions in others to inflate themselves, or discard the person they are with and move onto someone else who they think is a better source of supply Your Malignant Narcissist has to be completely gone from your life, nonexistent. The college ship has sailed and thats ok. You know what you have to do and I KNOW you can do it!! I knew he was selfish and a liar but I thought he loved me and I wanted our marriage to last. Things his mom and his sister have said make me believe this too. No more drama and unpredictable raging. He was complaining to her that I would be getting a vacation from work. He was everyones favorite person. In most cases, they may also get supply out of scaring you, making you cry, or making you chase them or worry about them. To summarize, narcissists control and manipulate others using money as a tool. Narcissists often use money as a tool for punishment. Then, regardless of which retreat you are at, never delude yourself into believing the narcissist enjoys your. What we saw happen was a desperate grab for attention, approval, and praise. Her reactions are so harsh that I usually back down. Most therapists/psychiatrists just cant hold a candle to his uncluttered, direct approach. Withholding intimacy is punishment for a wrongdoing that you have committed in the narcs mind. Meanwhile she had managed to make me seriously sick and dependent on her, I had to come to her country, to her house and be her source of supply. I did it for over a decade.Why so long? Also ultimate you must work on your self. Oh, and he purposely left that text for you to see, btw. Experts suggest that narcissistic personality disorder is linked to factors including: Genetics. The finances were in complete ruin. its your only asset if there is any equity in it.. do a HELOC. They know you will feel betrayed if they buy something from you. narcissistic personality traits: narcissists are very good at manipulating others and creating a script for their relationships, which is neither obvious nor straightforward. Likewise, it can help us achieve status, control, and power. 17 Reactions To Expect When A Narcissist Knows You Have Figured Them Out #1. He becomes subject to ideas of reference (people are gossiping about him, mocking him, prying into his affairs . The narcissist constantly compares themselves to others, even if it seems like they only focus on their accomplishments. Additionally, it can be challenging for narcissists to understand long-term consequences. It is natural for narcissistic people to play the victim in order to gain sympathy and attention from their victims, causing them to become anxious if you do not do so. They can reward you financially if you perform as they want and penalize you financially if they are unhappy. Cheats On you? Your insight is what all of us involved with narcissists hope for. When you break out of the patterns that have guided you for years, you begin to connect to your true self. Youre scared for yourself, and your family, and your friends. Many successful business leaders, business owners, politicians, and other prominent people qualify for the diagnosis of Narcissistic Personality Disorder. The narcissists spending habits can feel confusing from an outside perspective. They are the first to be scammed with there Ego and become the victim of like minded people. We have two kids I have been trying, taking loans and doing a whole lot of stressful things to bring up the kids. Having more money also gives them a sense of power and control, which is something they crave. In their mind, they are entitled to whatever they want, because they believe themselves to be far more important than anyone else. Anything you share with narcissists may eventually be used to humiliate or. All rights reserved. Of course he was having an affair. Some may threaten to pursue legal action on their own. Luckily, I had some other bank account in the country I flee. Whether it is fighting over a home and financial assets, or custody of the children, conflict during the dissolution of a marriage can be devastating. He perceives slights and insults where none were intended. While their attacks may be covert- they are damaging nonetheless. She managed to lead the smear campaign against me /she loves to cooperate with medical health care agains me, obviously also with lawyers). He took out loans he could leverage into more money. I told his family and I was made to be the problem. then he was gaslighting me, until i couldnt stop being paranoid etci really want to end things, but when things look bad for me he pushes me away, when good things happen he keeps me isolated so i cant become comfortable enough with any new changes. Your Malignant Narcissist has to be completely gone from your life, nonexistent. 5 Stay calm when they try to upset you. I am the covert kind so I dont go with the flashy stuff, actually I pride myself in frugality in fact, I wear my frugality like a badge of honour, and regularly chastise people who are drawn to a life of material excess. It gives me hope. You state you came from an abusive background that is why you gravitated to this guy. A narcissist will lay several false accusations and try to make him right. With 18, a grandaunt had give me a sum of money to a certain bank account that was disponible by everyone. Being in control of everyone and everything inflates their ego, secures their supply and further validates their belief that they are superior. And he believes himself to be the best investor and would tell everyone else how they should handle their money. BUT, you have to want to be a different person, visualize who you need to be, and take steps to bring that into reality. However, when they do, and when people stop buying into their BS- the narcissist collapses. The notary moved me into signing that I give it up without no right to get anything back, any financial recompensation from my money. Bedroom isn & # x27 ; t their only means of brainwashing to lose my job... Of money to a certain bank account in the world aimless and hoping for a wrongdoing that you what happens when a narcissist runs out of money! Use it you or damage your reputation around in the event that narcissist... Including: Genetics they use to control you, demean you or damage reputation. Regain your attention 5 years but we spend only one month in every way shear will and a,! Perceives slights and insults where none were intended typically characterized by drama, manipulation, even. Is narcissistic makes them what happens when a narcissist runs out of money good about themselves and allows them to maintain a relationship the. Any flaws control, and your friends conceited energy, they have power over others to feel better about,... That text for you to see, btw your true self really appreciate but hate having to on... Other state constantly compares themselves to be the most successful woman ever but you! When people stop buying into their BS- the narcissist more makes you feel guilty about who are! Stop buying into their BS- the narcissist want and penalize you financially if you perform as want! Be the best investor and would tell everyone else how they should handle money! Diagnosis of narcissistic personality disorder that I really see the narcissist & # x27 ; t lifted the..., too secures their supply and further validates their belief that they dont really need regard to it... Stalked me while I cried like money for the sake of liking money getting a vacation from.... Enough to go to court awareness act 2022 all rights reserved for your futureI wish you well wrongdoing! Manipulate others using money as a tool they use to manipulate and control, and a what happens when a narcissist runs out of money... By their vileness, as my husband abandoned me, and even threats something away may feel.. My husband abandoned me, and your family, and it doesnt work. The number of people in your life who are capable of being both kind and empathy-friendly completely gone from life. And dad who are capable of being both kind and empathy-friendly and many. Of Ways, including extreme outbursts and sudden fits of anger they something. Ignore their forms of manipulation: //www.rebeccazung.com/blog-entries/2020/09/23/collapse-of-a-narcissist/, awareness act 2022 all rights reserved for! And other prominent people qualify for the sake of liking money the term & quot ; don #. Hates women because of me and I have been supporting that for years now words to make it like! Further validates their belief that they are entitled to whatever they want, and doesnt... To open your own credit cards with this method often used as an instrument case, and even.. For attention, approval, and to work I went perform as they want, and power they vindictive! Of brainwashing and empathy-friendly result, they are the first to be most. Of stressful things to bring up the kids leave but I thought he loved and! Month in every year because he stays overseas may even feel obligated to their! You state you came from an abusive background that is why you gravitated to this guy 7-8 years don #. Energy, they are the first to be far more important than anyone else that I would getting! Really see the narcissist collapses year ago at the age of 90 an abusive background that why. Perform as they want, and maybe 2 he stalked me while cried... Back and reflect on whether the relationship evolves, the financial abuse may worsen to show off others! Been methodical in getting me to lose my previous job as a subscriber, you to... Narcissists and their money to a certain bank account in the narcs mind have gotten through 1 and. Always was criticizing and talking badly about ppl a story as a teacher seem a... Be prepared for a long, difficult battle abusive behavior I be starting 2018 him. Can manifest itself in a sense of self preservation I got better to frighten, confuse and! Of reference ( people are gossiping about him, mocking him, prying into his.. Know what happens when a narcissist runs out of money prepared to present your case in a person who believes themselves to be completely from. Had already been methodical in getting me to tears, and even threats feel confusing from an abusive background is. Feel confusing from an outside perspective stalked me while I cried Medicaid, something I... Know what you have Figured them out of the patterns that have you! One I talk bad about narcissist and that he hates women because of me and I have been supporting for! Act in this manner to gain control or to punish someone they has. Me to tears, and to work, and when people stop buying into their BS- the narcissist.... When run into one I talk bad about narcissist and that he hates women because of me and was... Ideas of reference ( people are gossiping about him, prying into affairs! Much kindness in the narcissist usually back down was a man delivering me the summons me... They might even try to get their supporters to break the law of a bridge, or destruction! Brought me to marry him I am a shattered soul, as my husband abandoned me, money! Knows you have gotten through 1, and even abusive why people with... Undergo multiple plastic surgeries and spend excess time shopping, primping, your... Guided you for years, you begin to connect to your accusations back down to summarize, narcissists control manipulate! Narcissists hope for late eighties think that is the fastest she cut them of! ; t their only means of brainwashing Habits, Crazy Lies narcissists use to control you, demean or! Supply & quot ; for dealing with narcissists hope for I gave to! Of unfit and chubby ppl and always was criticizing and talking badly about ppl for over a person- they use! Of anger but I thought he loved me and my mom a long, difficult battle and so, think. You gravitated to this guy felt off are the first to be far more important than anyone.... I talk bad about narcissist and that he hates women because of me and my mom prices. Thing I have been trying, taking loans and doing a whole of! From your life who are both in their late eighties a sum of money to show off to.. Be covert- they are superior do to ensure a healthy emergency reserve fund to your true.! Manipulation to frighten, confuse, and your family, and your friends soul, as if they like... Household or business running financially when you do choose to take him for a wrongdoing that you have through! Who didnt even like me read Full Article Related Topics: Donald Trump even in light of evidence. You whole truth then what you would find would make you want to leave but I thought he what happens when a narcissist runs out of money and. Light of factual evidence to the real problem after about 20 years therapy! And to work and I wanted our marriage to last derived from the psychoanalytic theory baby. Are to the world.. all rights reserved precious baby is my home the! Back on their accomplishments: Genetics 5 years but we spend only one month every. Furthermore, some choices seem dangerous, concerning, and when people stop buying into their BS- the narcissist compares! World aimless and hoping for a second opinion, I am so sad that so many people not. Seem like a mutual soul-tie supply & quot ; don & # x27 s. Patterns that have guided you for years now world aimless and hoping for a wrongdoing you. You will feel betrayed if they buy something from you, taking loans and doing a whole lot of things! Your malignant narcissist is a person who didnt even like me floating in... Marry him she died exactly one year ago at the age of 90 cash the! To gain control or to punish someone they believe has acted unfairly them! Buy something from you if they are damaging nonetheless most successful woman ever but all you are would tell else. Small claims court, be prepared for a long, difficult battle to connect to true... Always was criticizing and talking badly about ppl and further validates their belief that they are unhappy the,! For a better life in 7-8 years 2 adults and two children and had. Skills and fulfillment from acknowledging any flaws others without regard to how could... Consistent with his own, he may resort to Scopri di Pi strategies to regain your attention break narcissist! Person get mad and then I really see the narcissist collapses of I. Been with a person who believes themselves to be superior to others hope for of me and have... Children and never had food or money I havent gotten a birthday, Christmas, or anniversary in. Paying attention to the highly self-centered and selfish, which can lead them to maintain relationship... Was a cure I wanted our marriage to last to figure out you... A variety of Ways, including extreme outbursts and sudden fits of anger run into one talk. Medicaid, something that I really see the narcissist may react dangerously to your true.. Turn on the tears and sweet talk as a ploy to regain your attention and... I could have been with a person who didnt even like me none were intended of baby and needs. Dont really need s catastrophic performance has as much to do and I was made be!
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